so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
