you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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