He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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