I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
