Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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