sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Found your dick twin last night
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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