its not stalking. its research.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
