They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just found puke in my bra..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
