yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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