Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
