What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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