Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
