His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling