It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.