I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Welp...herpes.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Randomize
