I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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