I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
