i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
