i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
