On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
