Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
time to smoke my breakfast
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
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