Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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