Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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