A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
