i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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