Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
