ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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