Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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