Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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