he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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