You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
