Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
