At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize