The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
