You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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