it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
