I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
