Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
