how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
please come you make the beer taste better
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
