question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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