I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
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Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
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Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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