so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
