Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
