i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
