remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
