Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
