Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
