I feel like abortions should bother me more
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
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I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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