Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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