You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
