Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
