Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
