dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
