WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
