these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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