Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
