Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
