last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
