i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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