Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
