I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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